Panic Eve

A wiseman's guide to 11th-hour shopping

By Mark Wolf
Denver Rocky Mountain News Staff Writer

Uh-oh.

It's Christmas Eve. Stockings are hung. And your goose could be cooked.

You got the Game Boy and the scooter for the kids. Both sets of parents' gifts were mailed two weeks ago. Even the mail carrier's tip has been handled.

But that sweet and special something for her? Gulp.

Consider a presumably true and absolutely cautionary tale that's been handed down in our family:

Guy goes to his office party on Christmas Eve afternoon intending to slip away and pick up a present for his wife after an hour or so. Drinks a bit too much. Falls asleep at his desk. Actually, under his desk. Awakened by a bright light and roaring sound. Thinks it might be the light you're supposed to see when you're dying, but it's a cleaning lady with a vacuum. It's 7:30 p.m. Decides dying light would have been preferable. Only thing open is a 24-hour drugstore where he purchases "Evening in Paris" perfume for his wife.

And is never again mistaken for a Wise Man.

Be warned, but take a deep breath. All is not lost. You're not alone out there on the Christmas Eve panic tightrope.

Five excuses not to make if you're late buying your loved one a Christmas gift: "I was shopping for emeralds, but I couldn't find anything to match the radiance of your eyes." "I didn't have time to shop because I was down in Florida counting dimpled chads." "The dot-com company where I bought your gift went out of business." "The thing I'm getting you goes on sale Dec. 26." "Christmas is here? Again?"

"You mean that line of guys who come through here on Dec. 24?" said Kevin Larson, owner of Pandora's Toy Box, an intimate apparel shop at 528 S. Broadway. "Normally, 70 percent of our customer base is women, but on Christmas Eve last year we had one woman and were slammed with guy after guy: hair sticking up, frazzled, bags under their eyes. It was nonstop.

"Every guy had the same story. They ran in and said they'd done all the kids, shopped for the grandmother but forgot to get their wife something and need to make it great. Our girls are all laughing, saying, 'Not a problem.' We're throwing panties at them, throwing bath products at them."

For the discriminating procrastinator, Pandora's will open two hours earlier than usual, at 10 a.m. today, and remain open until 5 p.m.

Sales professionals all over town are familiar with not-so-jolly Santas in full Guy Christmas Panicus syndrome.

"I see it every year," said Nancy Sagar, public relations manager for Neiman Marcus at Cherry Creek Shopping Center. "You can identify the look immediately. It's bewilderment, total bewilderment. They know they're nailed. You almost feel sorry for them."

Where does guy gift radar lead them?

"They seem to gravitate to three different departments: fragrance, jewelry and intimate apparel," said Sagar. "At that point they should give something that sparkles, something that's feminine, something that feels good. In jewelry the key word is David Yurman. Women know it, they love it, it's sort of a status jewelry and you can't go wrong with it. In fragrances the Joys and Chanels are always nice.

"Men should take the advice of our sales associates. We train them, they have a lot of information and can be very helpful."

Neiman Marcus will be open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. today.

When men shop at the last minute, the Guilt Index becomes a factor. Current market conditions peg the GI at 1.5 times the cost of what the guy would have been willing to spend had he bought a gift two weeks earlier.

"Women should be happy they're shopping at the last minute because they tend to get bumped up because of the guilt," said Larson.

Pandora's hot seller this season is Cosabella lingerie.

"It's the gift that keeps on giving," he said. "I had a friend in last night who bought this beautiful lingerie ensemble and is wrapping it up and giving it to her husband for Christmas. Girls always get it, but it's the husbands who enjoy it the most."

Last-minute shoppers don't have to go frilly.

"Leather is real big this year: jackets, pants, skirts, gloves, you name it," said Priscilla Thorne, public relations manager for Foley's, whose Denver-area stores will be open from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. today.

And don't overlook some nifty techno gifts, Thorne suggested.

The Argus Cool Cam ($49.95) is a digital camera that comes in a variety of colors. If she's a sleuth, there's Casio's digital camera watch ($199.95) that combines high-tech timepiece with digital camera. If she needs her data now, there's a $99.95 watch by PC United that downloads data from a laptop.

And a final thought: The job isn't finished until the paperwork's done.

Foley's, Pandora's and Neiman Marcus will keep their gift-wrapping departments open today.

"Ours are nice and pretty. We even put a bow on," said Larson.

"Definitely have it wrapped," added Sagar.

And while you're waiting for your gift to be wrapped at 4:30 p.m., keep telling yourself: "Next year I'm doing this the day after Thanksgiving."

Just like you told yourself last year.

Contact Mark Wolf at (303) 892-5226 or wolfm@RockyMountainNews.com.

December 24, 2000