'In my mind, I almost feel like Eric and Dylan killed her too,' parent of another victim says

By Karen Abbott, Rebecca Jones
and Kevin Flynn
Denver Rocky Mountain News Staff Writers

Carla Hochhalter, whose 17-year-old daughter was paralyzed in the Columbine High School shootings six months ago, took her own life Friday.

The 48-year-old Littleton woman shot herself inside a pawn shop on South Broadway about 10 a.m., using one of the store's guns.

A clerk had handed the gun to Hochhalter after she said she wanted to buy it.

Her daughter's grave injuries had devastated Hochhalter, said Connie Michalik, whose son, Rich Castaldo, also was wounded at Columbine.

The two mothers had spent hours together at the hospital with their children.

"This just destroyed her," Michalik said. "It destroyed her.

"In my mind, I almost feel like Eric and Dylan killed her too."

Anne Marie Hocchalter, who suffered spinal injuries, returned to Columbine in a wheelchair this fall for one physics class in her senior year. She was tutored at home for her other courses.

The clerk at Alpha Pawn, 4155 S. Broadway in Englewood, had turned away to do the required background check after handing Hochhalter a .38 caliber gun, said police spokeswoman Letitia Castillo.

Hochhalter apparently loaded the gun with bullets she had taken with her, fired one bullet into a wall then turned the gun on herself, Castillo said.

Hochhalter left a note, according to Castillo. She would not say where it was found or divulge its contents.

Hochhalter was pronounced dead at about 10:50 a.m. at Swedish Medical Center, the same hospital where Anne Marie underwent radical surgery and stayed for weeks after she was shot twice as she ate lunch outside Columbine.

Arapahoe County Coroner Dr. Michael Dobersen classified the death as a suicide.

"She was such a loving mother," Michalik said. "She was very sweet and loving and kind."

Michalik said she had been concerned about her friend but never imagined the depth of her depression.

"When it first happened, she was just like any other parent," Michalik said. "She was devastated, just like the rest of us.

"But we kind of saw her slipping. We were concerned about her. Sometimes you'd talk to her, and you felt like you weren't getting through, like it was just all too much for her."

A few days ago, Michalik ran into Ted Hochhalter, and he told her his wife was having a hard time.

"I just told him that she'd earned it," she said. "I thought she was just normally depressed -- like we're all normally depressed. But this is a total shock."

Carla Hochhalter was a stay-at-home mom. Ted Hochhalter works for the U.S. Bureau of Reclamation.

The Hochhalters recently had moved to a new, wheelchair-accessible home, thanks to financial help from the Colorado Assocation of Realtors.

Friday, neighbors along the cul-de-sac tucked in the Woodmar subdivision, where the Hochhalters had lived for more than seven years, said Carla Hochhalter was the type of person who would help others but would hesitate to ask for help herself.

"She said, 'I love you,' to me so many times," said Sharon Redmond, who lived two doors down from the Hochhalters. "She gave. She gave to everybody."

Bill Redmond said, "It kind of makes you feel, as a friend and a neighbor, that maybe there was something we forgot to do for her."

The Redmonds said the Hochhalters wanted to stay in the neighborhood and regretted having to leave for the house that had been fitted for wheelchair access.

The death capped a tense week in which a 17-year-old Columbine student was arrested for threatening to "finish the job" Harris and Klebold began.

Anne Marie was at school Wednesday, the six-month anniversary of the shootings, although many students stayed away.

At the request of the Hochhalter family, the school district said, Columbine staff members were notified at the end of the school day Friday of Hochhalter's death. Families of those who died or were injured in the shootings were notified Friday afternoon.

Columbine Principal Frank DeAngelis reportedly spent much of the afternoon with the Hochhalter family.

Jefferson County District Attorney Dave Thomas said in a statement Friday that he had "an anguished heart."

"We all have come to know and love the Hochhalter family," he said. "This pain and suffering is not fair. 'We do not understand it. All we can do is share it with the Hochhalters and others in our community."

Ted Hochhalter said this month that Anne Marie's newly regained ability to lift her legs 3 to 4 inches, one at a time, was "a tremendous, tremendous achievement."

However, he said Anne Marie still suffered nerve pain so severe it brought tears to her eyes.

He said Anne Marie's courage and optimism were the family's inspiration.

Doctors called Anne Marie their "miracle girl" when she was released from Craig Hospital in August to go home with her parents and younger brother, Nathan. Family members said she would not have survived if paramedics had rescued her from outside the school two minutes later.

"I still have many obstacles to overcome," Anne Marie wrote when she left Craig, "but I know that I can do it and God will give me the strength along the way."